Try and Remember
by illbakeyoupies27
Summary: Peeta Mellark? I've never spoken a word to him, let alone give him a reason to come visit me in the hospital. Katniss was taken by the Capitol and doesn't believe Peeta was her district partner in the Games. Can she remember or will it be just like before the Games. My first fanifc. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't own any of the characters; Suzanne Collins did and I love her for that!_

I've never seen anyone so excited in their entire life. I've never seen Annie Cresta smile, let alone be as giddy as a school girl. Of course she has a reason; she will finally be reunited with the one person that keeps her sane, Finnick. I should be that happy too but I can't get over the fact that Aaron won't be there. At least I will finally get to see Prim and my mother's smiling faces. And Gale! I will get to see Gale! With Aaron gone, we will probably fall in love and raise a family out in the woods like he proposed so long ago. I'm glad I didn't go then. Prim would have gotten reaped, they would have gone looking for use, found us, and we would've been killed or turned into an Avox.

The plane lands in what they tell me is District 13. It turns out Bonnie and Twill were right. I wonder if they made it. I am taken straight to a hospital room where doctors are seeing if there is anything wrong with me. I am about 20lbs lighter and very malnourished but other than that, I seem fine. The Capitol tried to make me believe that everyone I loved hated me but I fought against their poison.

The doctors move on to other patients in need and allow people to visit me. First is Prim. "Katniss!" she yells with excitement. She looks older. She's taller and a lot healthier than I've ever seen her. We hug for seems like hours until I hear my mother's voice. As much as I have tried to shut her out of my life, I decide to trust her. Being away for so long, and having so many near-death experiences, you learn to forget about that kind of stuff and be thankful that someone still loves you. With Aaron being dead, I can count on one how many people love me unconditionally.

"Where's Gale?" I ask my mother and Prim.

"In a meeting with Beetee and Plutarch" answers Prim.

The next voice I hear is unexpected. "Katniss? Is it really you?" I turn around to see who is speaking. It's Peeta Mellark, the baker's son running up to me with a very excited Haymitch. Peeta Mellark? Why would he come to see me? I've never spoken a word to him, let alone give him a reason to come visit me in the hospital. And why is he with Haymitch? I don't think they know each other.

He runs up and hugs me and I'm too confused to respond. He pulls away.

"What's wrong with you" asks Peeta.

"Why are you excited to see me? We've never even talked. How do you know Haymitch?"

"What? Katniss, it's me, Peeta. We won the 74th Hunger Games together."

"No, I won the 74th Hunger Games with Aaron Wilson but he died in the Quarter Quell."

"What? I'm getting the doctors."

**Thanks for reading! Leave reviews, I'm open to all opinions!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters, Suzanne Collins does._

"Why does Peeta care about me?" I ask Haymitch.

"Katniss, the Capitol must have taken away your memories of Peeta and replaced them. Let me talk to the doctors before I tell you anything else."

Haymitch goes outside to speak to the doctors. I can tell they don't want me to hear but listen through the door anyway.

"She thinks her District partner was Aaron Wilson, the tribute from the 73rd Games. I have no idea how they did it but she seems pretty convinced" says Haymitch.

"So, she forgot about me?" I can hear the hurt in Peeta's voice.

"She didn't; they Capitol made her. I'm sure they can reverse it. Can't you, Doc?"

"I'm not sure; the Capitol has so much advanced technology and medicine, but we will definitely try. Let's go in and start."

I run back to the bed so they don't find out I was eavesdropping. The doctor and Haymitch come in. "Where's Peeta" I ask. He had other appointments to attend to" answers the doctor.

"I'm Dr. Aurelius and I'll be helping you adjust to life in 13. Now, can you tell me what you did while in the Capitol?"

"Can I eat first" I say trying to avoid revisiting those memories.

"They're still deciding how much to give you. Katniss, you'll be a lot better off if you do as I say. I'm only trying to help.

"Fine. They would feed me once a day in the morning. Then, I was taken to a room and strapped to a cold metal bed where they would give me a shot of something and make me rewatch my Games. At first, they tried to convince me that I was sent to the Games because my family hated me but I never believed them, so they just gave up on that."

"Ok, thank you Miss Everdeen. Would you like some food?"

"Yes" I say with my mouth actually watering. I am soon disappointed with only about a half cup of a disgusting looking stew, but I eat it anyway because I'm so hungry it doesn't matter.

Once I finish, Dr. Aurelius questions me some more, "Katniss can you tell me about your Games starting with the interviews?"

"Aaron professed his love for me. When Caesar asked him if he had a girl back home, he said no but that he had had on a crush for a girl for forever. When Caesar said to win and go home and she'll love him, he said that wasn't go to help "Because, because she came here with me".

Haymitch's eyes widen when I say this and I give him a look of confusion.

"Excuse me, but Doctor, can I talk to you alone" asks Haymitch and he and the doctor go outside. While they're outside, a familiar face walks in.

"Hey Catnip"

"Gale!" I scream and run into his arms.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too! "

"Listen, I know you just came back, but I'm leaving for battle in a couple days and I just had to see you, even though I know you've chosen Mellark."

"What? To Battle? What do you mean, choose Mellark?"

"I saw the way you kissed him in the Quell. You really love him."

"He wasn't in the Quell. That was Aaron. Why does everyone keep acting like he was in the games with me? How could I love him, I've never spoken to him!"

"Katniss? What happened in the Capitol?"

"Gale," exclaims Haymitch, "Come with me, I've got to explain something to you."

Once Haymitch and Gale leave, I ask Dr. Aurelius, "Why is everyone acting like Peeta was in the Games with me and that I love him? It's hard enough for me to get over Aaron's death let alone have everyone pretend like he never existed!"

"Before I answer any questions, I need to understand what's going on in your mind. Now, go on with describing your Games. You had just told me about Aaron's interview."

I proceed to tell him all about my dehydration, becoming allies with Rue, her death, and blowing up the Careers' food.

"After Rue's death they changed the rules so that two could win if they come from the same District. I called out Aaron's name and went looking for him. I found him completely camouflaged in mud. Cato had cut his leg and he could barely walk. We made our own little home in a cave where I nursed him back to help. I really think I started to develop feelings for him. I know he loved me. I miss him."

I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched. I turn to look at the window to the hallway where I see Peeta watching me with tears running down his cheeks. This makes no sense. He sees me look at him and his eyes flit away like they so often would at school and I can't stop thinking that there's more to us than I can remember.

**Sorry these Chapters are short but I haven't had much time to write. I think I'll upload again later tonight. Review please and Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters, Suzanne Collins does._

Then, I see Delly Cartwright come up to Peeta and ask him something. He just shakes his head and walks away. I'm glad she made it out of District 12 safe. She always knows how to make a situation happier because she's just a generally happy person.

"Katniss?"

I'm pulled back to my therapy session with Dr. Aurelius. "Please continue on describing your Games."

"Right, so I went to the Feast and got Peeta's medicine," I say still looking out the window wondering what has gotten into Peeta Mellark.

"Peeta," Dr. Aurelius asks a little too excited.

"What? No, sorry I was distracted. I got Aaron's medicine which really saved his life." I continue to describe the Games and our bonding in the cave. I describe how Foxface and Cato died.

"Aaron was bleeding badly from the mutt's bite. I made a tourniquet because we made it this far, I was not losing him now. If he would've died I don't think I would've stayed sane, although for all I know, I'm completely insane as we speak."

"You're not insane, just confused. Being insane is irreparable."

I explain the berries and how the Capitol hates me for it. When I finish Dr. Aurelius asks me, "And the Capitol showed all of this to you?"

"Yes on a television."

"Well, I think that's enough for today, I need to go check on Annie and Johanna."

When he leaves I sit on the hospital trying to analyze everything that happened today, which is a lot. Then, I hear my door open.

"Hey Katniss, how are you holding up?"

"Good, I guess. How about you Prim? Do you like District 13?"

"It's good, I guess. I miss home, though. They're training me to be a doctor."

"Really? That's amazing. You'll be the best one they've ever seen!" I can't help but smile think of Prim, a doctor. They didn't have real doctors in District 12.

"Wanna talk?"

"No, but I would like to go on a walk."

We walk around the hospital and she shows me around. We run into Finnick and he looks nothing like the Capitol heartthrob I remember, but he looks happy.

"Katniss! I've missed you! Annie said you helped her a lot in the Capitol."

"Oh yes, we became great friends. I guess that's what happens when you only see one person you trust for 6 weeks. How is she holding up?"

"About the same as she's been since her Games, a lot better than I thought she would be. She's sleeping now. Did you see Peeta? You're all he's talked about, literally. He _really___loves you." Just as he finishes the sentence Prim is silently trying to stop him but he doesn't get the hint.

"That's what everyone is saying but it would make more sense if we had every spoken to one another" I say getting angrier throughout the sentence. Then, I storm off to find Peeta.

I run into him at the small library. He's reading about painting techniques. Painting? I didn't know he could paint.

Oh, hi Katniss," he says as he looks up from his book.

"What's your deal," I say a little too angry.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean everyone keeps telling me that you love me and that I love you but we've never even talked! "

"Katniss," he says as though he's speaking to a 3 year old, "The Capitol did something to your memory."

"Well, all I know is that I'm tired of having to ask everyone for answers and not getting any!"

"Calm down, it's gonna be okay." He touches my arm and something surges through me, so I move away. "Is there anything you do remember about me?"

"You're family owned the bakery. You saved my life when I was 12."

His deep blue eyes light up and I feel like I've looked into them a lot more than I think. They just seem so familiar.

"You remember that?"

"Of course, you don't forget when someone saves you and your family's lives."

"I just thought the Capitol may have taken that memory. We better get you back to the hospital, they'll freak if they thought they lost you." I follow him through the halls right to my hospital room.

"Here it is."

"Thanks. Peeta, do you love me like everyone says you do?"

"No." My stomach sinks.

"It's so much more." He kisses my cheek and leaves. I miss him already, but something seems too familiar, too familiar.

I sit on my bed waiting for a doctor to come lost in my thoughts when it hits me. "His voice!" I actually yell it out loud. I run as fast as I can to find Haymitch who is at the hospital desk asking the nurse when Dr. Aurelius can see me.

"Haymitch! Why does Peeta have Aaron's voice? I know its Aaron's." Then I lose it. I never thought I would miss Aaron this much. I guess it wasn't all for the Games, anyway. I make those horrible sobbing choking sounds. Haymitch is clearly confused but comforts me until I'm able to speak.

"Okay Sweetheart, please tell me what's going on."

"I was talking to Peeta because I'm tired of everyone telling me I love him, when I don't. How could I? Anyway, I realized his voice sounds just like Aaron's and I lost it because I miss Aaron and how he could make everything better," I say as my eyes start to water. Why did he have to die?

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna go get Aurelius and I want you to tell him what you just told me. It'll help, I promise, just go back to your room."

I do as Haymitch says and moment later he and Dr. Aurelius are back and I open up. Telling them everything.

"Okay, Katniss, this is going to help us help you immensely."

After Aurelius leaves the room, I turn to Haymitch, "I don't want to see Peeta. He reminds me too much of Aaron and it hurts."

"Alright Sweetheart," he says with the slightest amount of pain in his voice and leaves. I wonder why? He must just miss Aaron too. We were like his kids.

I hear Haymitch telling Peeta. I guess Peeta was outside my room this whole time.

"Please, no Haymitch. I can't. I waited this long for her; I'm not losing her now!"

It would help if I had ever been his.

"Sorry boy, but it'll get her back to us sooner if we listen. She does love you, or Aaron as she thinks. She lost it today when thinking about him."

"Really?"

"Really, it took me about 10 minutes to get her to be able to talk."

"Wow. Who would've thought." That's it I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm madly in love with the baker's son. I run outside to end this once and for all.

"I am not in love with you and I never want to hear people saying I am ever again!" I lunge out and slap Peeta right across the face. I've never seen that kind of pain in someone's eyes and I immediately feel horrible but before I can apologize, I'm shot with some kind of medicine and pass out, right into his arms.

**Thanks for reading! Review pretty pretty please! Love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

_I do not own any of the characters, Suzanne Collins does._

I'm having that dream again. It's the last night of the Quarter Quell, when the Arena exploded. I'm screaming for Aaron but I can't move since I'm paralyzed from the lightning and lightheaded from Johanna. I have to get to him. I hear him call my name but I can't tell if it's real. I scream his name as loud as I can but I'm picked up by a hovercraft being flown by the one, the only, President Snow who is about to… I wake up, thankful that I didn't see what's next. I'm soaked in sweat and tears and I feel horrible for slapping Peeta. It's already been a month but it just won't leave my conscience. I'm no better than his mother, the Witch. When I sit up I see a note saying I start training today. Good, something to get my mind off things and it's one step closer to killing Snow.

I get up, get dressed and go to find Haymitch because I have no idea where to go for training. He takes me there and I had no idea how out of shape I was. I haven't had any exercise in months and I have to drop out after a mile in the 5 mile run, but I don't feel too bad because Johanna Mason's in worst shape than me. After training, I go to my hospital room. I really want to get out of the hospital and live with my family but it turns out I'm a lot worse than they thought. I was recovering from a broken rib when I got there but it still seems to hurt. Also, I can't hear Aaron's name without sobbing for ten minutes straight but they say that will heal over time. Worst of all, I have flashbacks. Flashbacks of in the Capitol trying to convince me my mother and Prim are trying to kill me. Flashbacks that President Snow is everywhere. The worst flashbacks are that it's my fault Aaron's dead. If I just would've insisted he come with me to lay out the wire he would be here with me now getting rid of the flashbacks and nightmares.

I started having daily sessions with Dr. Aurelius to help me return to normal, but that's impossible. After I slapped Peeta, I went into this deep depression and didn't talk to anyone for about 2 weeks. They healed that by letting Gale and I go out to the woods to hunt. It really helps me clear my mind and forget about everything.

"Hello Katniss." I'm pulled back to reality by Dr. Aurelius.

"Hello. What's on the schedule for today?"

"I want to talk about Aaron." My body starts shivering at the sound of his name and I feel tears stinging my eyes.

"No. Please no."

"Katniss you'll never get better if we don't talk."

"Please, just not today. I'm exhausted from training and I had a flashback today."

"What was your flashback?"

Damnit, now I have to make up a flashback or else I'll have to talk about Aaron. Instead I just start shaking like I do during a flashback and he leaves me alone.

"Alright, how about you tell me everything you can about Peeta Mellark."

"Peeta Mellark is the baker's son. He has 2 older brothers. His mother hits him when he messes up. He's good at wrestling and came in 2nd at our school competition just after his brother. He was in my grade."

"Have you had any interaction with him before District 13?"

"No. How many times do I have to say that?"

"None at all?"

"He saved my life once. I was going through the trash in the pouring rain because we were completely starving. His mother came out and yelled at me so I just went and sat under a tree. I heard a large commotion inside the bakery and heard someone get slapped. His mother was screaming at him because he must've burnt bread. She told him to throw it to the pigs, but when he came outside and tossed them to me. That's it. Can I go hunt now?"

"Alright, go find Gale and you can leave."

"Thank you," I say and run out the door and for some reason I want to cry. I've always had so much control over my emotions but now it seems like I cry at the drop of the hat, thanks to Snow.

I find Gale in his compartment playing with Rory. "Gale, we can go to the woods early today"

"Really? Let's go!"

I catch 3 rabbit in the first hour and almost all of the snares are full but then the unexpected happened. I had one of the worst flashbacks of my life. Gale is setting a new snare and asks me to lay out the rope, similar to the way I did in the last Arena. All I can picture is ways I could've saved Aaron. I collapse suddenly and try to find air to breath but it seems as though all of the air has been taken away. I'm too stunned to cry but I feel a little better when Gale's takes me in his arms. "It's alright Catnip. I'm here, everything's ok. We're in the woods, remember? It's not our woods in 12 but we're hunting together just like we always do. Shh, don't cry. It's just you and me." Then, he kisses me gently on the forehead. Gale isn't usually calming like this, that was Aaron. He always made things seem better while Gale was always like me, thinking about the bad things. It's not like Gale, but I like it. I need it.

"After about ten minutes, I come to my senses. "Gale, I killed Aaron, real or not real?"

"What? Of course you didn't."

"Then why is he dead?"

"Because, it was the Games. He died just like all the other tributes did. It's President Snow's fault he's dead, not yours."

I look into his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. Those same Seam gray eyes that I know so well and I know he's telling the truth. And for the first time ever, it's me who leans into the kiss.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to review. It really helps! Sorry I hadn't uploaded in a while but I babysit every Tuesday and Wednesday and I just finished re-doing my room. I leave for the Smokey Mountains on Sunday and come back Friday so I won't upload until Monday at the latest but it will be extra long. I PROMISE! So stick around it will be worth it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, long time no see! Sorry I have been super busy what with leaving Missouri for the Smoky Mountains for a week and babysitting. Plus, my brother is home from Mexico and such. So, since you all have been patient I decided to switch things up. This Chapter is Peeta's POV from the beginning. Let me know if you like it or want to stick to Katniss's POV. Thanks to all the reviews, you guys are amazing, for reals! Don't forget to review, it makes me better, trust me.**

**Peeta's POV:**

"Hey boy, she's here. They made it, all alive." I really don't believe the words that are coming out of Haymitch's mouth. I had just returned from shooting a propo and was hanging out with Finnick.

"Is Annie here, is she okay?" I can hear the excitement in Finnick's voice.

"Yes, everyone is alive," but Finnick leaves the second Haymitch says yes.

"She's here, alive," I ask him.

"Yeah."

I take off as fast as I can towards the hospital although I pretty much live there since I'm still an emotional mess. I have no one else to live with and they don't feel comfortable leaving me alone.

I arrive at the hospital. "Where's Katniss Everdeen," I ask one of the doctors. He points to a room and I run in and see her hugging Prim.

"Katniss? Is it really you?" I run up and hug her but instead of returning the hug, she tenses up. When I pull away, I see the confusion on her face.

"What's wrong with you," I ask her.

"Why are you excited to see me? We've never even talked. How do you know Haymitch?"

Why is she saying these things. Never talked? I love her. She's knows that. The Capitol did something to her. Something to make her forget me.

"What? Katniss, it's me, Peeta. We won the 74th Hunger Games together."

"No, I won the 74th Hunger Games with Aaron Wilson but he died in the Quarter Quell."

Aaron Wilson, I remember that name. He was a friend of my brother who died in the 73rd Games. He died in the first five minutes. It was the first time someone I had ever talked to died in the Games.

There is something terribly wrong here. "What? I'm getting the doctors."

I run out and see Dr. Aurelius, the head doctor in District 13. "Doctor, something's wrong with Katniss. She's acting like we've never spoken, just like before the Games. Please hurry, she can't forget me, she's all I have left.

I take Dr. Aurelius to her room but before we enter, Haymitch comes out.

"She thinks her District partner was Aaron Wilson, the tribute from the 73rd Games. I have no idea how they did it but she seems pretty convinced"

I can't believe it. I miss her more than ever, the real Katniss that is. "So, she forgot about me?"

"She didn't; they Capitol made her. I'm sure they can reverse it. Can't you, Doc?"

"I'm not sure; the Capitol has so much advanced technology and medicine, but we will definitely try. Let's go in and start." Aurelius goes in but Haymitch stops me.

"Why don't you sit this one out. We don't know what could happen. There might be something more, something that could make her want to hurt you."

"Haymitch, I can't. I let her go once, I'm never going to let go of her again."

"It's for her own good."

He's right. We don't know how deep down this is. It's lunch time, so I go to the cafeteria but I'm too nervous about Katniss to eat. At about the end of lunch, my best friend, Delly Cartwright sits next to me. "Hello Peeta. I heard Katniss is back, I would've thought you would be with her."

This one sentence makes me realize that I've lost Katniss, whether the doctors know it or not and I just start crying. I can survive two Hunger Games but this is different. I have no one left. Yeah, I have my best friend but my family and all of my other friends are dead, because of me and Katniss and our stunt with the berries. People are watching me now, and I just run to Katniss's room. She's still talking to Dr. Aurelius so I just watch them through the window. Haymitch and Gale leave the room and I can just barely hear Katniss.

"Why is everyone acting like Peeta was in the Games with me and that I love him? It's hard enough for me to get over Aaron's death let alone have everyone pretend like he never existed!" She then tell Aurelius about the Games but it seems the Capitol took her memories of me in the Games and replaced them with Aaron. I can't control my emotions and keep crying. Then, all of a sudden, she turns around and our eyes meet but I look away fast, just as I used to in school so often.

Delly runs up to me. "Peeta, what's wrong."

"It's Katniss. The Capitol made her forget me." I start breathing rapidly and Delly goes to get a doctor. When she comes back with one, he sticks something in my arm and I instantly become unconscious.

I wake up and see Haymitch sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed. "Where's Katniss? How long have I been out?"

"Two days. In her room, having her daily appointment with Dr. Aurelius. That's all she really does now."

"Does she still not remember the Games?"

"Sorry, boy."

"How's everyone else like Johanna and Annie?"

"Johanna has a lot of physical problems. They really messed her up." Of course they did, she knew actual rebel secrets. Poor Johanna. "Annie on the other hand is doing well as long as Finnick is at her side, which he always is. He really loves her."

Finnick and I have grown really close since we've been in 13. We both had the women we loved in the hands of Snow. He's a lot more than a pretty boy with thousands of admirers. He's just a guy in love with a mad girl.

I decide to go to the library and find a book on painting. I could improve my skill some. Painting is my one escape from everything, from Snow, from the nightmares. I find a great book on an ancient painter, Van Gough, and lose myself in the book. Then all of a sudden I see her in front of me.

"Oh hi, Katniss."

"What's your deal," she's very angrily.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean everyone keeps telling me that you love me and that I love you but we've never even talked!"

"Katniss," he says as though he's speaking to a 3 year old, "The Capitol did something to your memory."

"Well, all I know is that I'm tired of having to ask everyone for answers and not getting any!"

I just want to take her into my arms and make everything better, but I know I can't.

"Calm down, it's gonna be okay," and I reach out and touch her arm. When I do a look or recognition comes over her face but it's quickly back to confused. "Is there anything you do remember about me?"

"You're family owned the bakery. You saved my life when I was 12."

She remembers. She remembers our moment with the bread. Our only connection before the Games. This is amazing. I just can't believe she remembers. I know my face must light up because she looks deep into my eyes. Even now her eyes are as beautiful as ever. "You remember that?"

"Of course, you don't forget when someone saves you and your family's lives."

"I just thought the Capitol may have taken that memory. We better get you back to the hospital, they'll freak if they thought they lost you." We walk back to her room in an awkward silence. "Here it is."

"Thanks. Peeta, do you love me like everyone says you do?" I can hear a little bit of hope in her voice, that she hopes I say yes.

"No." Her face instantly looks disappointed. "It's so much more." I kiss her cheek and watch her go back in. I decide to sit on the chair outside of her room and wait. What I said was so utterly true. I love her more than words can say. No one will be able to tell her how much I love her, she'll have to see for herself. I'll never stop trying to get her back. Never.

I get lost in my thoughts and Haymitch comes out of the room and addresses me.

"She says she doesn't want to see you anymore. It reminds her too much of Aaron and it hurts."

"Please, no Haymitch. I can't. I waited this long for her; I'm not losing her now!"

"Sorry boy, but it'll get her back to us sooner if we listen. She does love you, or Aaron as she thinks. She lost it today when thinking about him."

"Really?"

"Really, it took me about 10 minutes to get her to be able to talk."

"Wow. Who would've thought." I hear Katniss come out of the room. She must've been able to hear us.

"I am not in love with you and I never want to hear people saying I am ever again!" She reaches out and slaps me across the face, hard, just like my mother used to. I'm never getting her back. The hurt is too deep. I doubt she ever really loved me. The doctors come out and shoot her with a sedative and she starts to fall but on instinct, I catch her.

I can't hide the tears. I put her in bed and run to find Delly. I really need to talk to someone who doesn't remind me of Katniss.

While I'm running to find Delly I trip on someone's foot with my fake leg and hit my head on a chair. Haymitch comes and helps me up. "Look boy, she's not gone forever."

"Yes she is! The real Katniss would never have hit me. She knows my history. She knows my mother used to hit me. She remembers the bread, Haymitch."

He looks at me with hopeful eyes. I know he wants us to end up together, almost as much as I do.

Weeks pass and still, not much progression with Katniss. In fact she is having more problems and more flashbacks. I just want to make everything better for her. I used to pass by her room and look in but I stopped. I was just passing by to check on her but instead of seeing Dr. Aurelius in there with her, I see her and Gale, making out. I know they'll end up together. As long as she's happy, that's all that really matters. I stopped checking up on her. I occasionally see them holding hands and taking a walk but I hide before she sees me. I don't want to cause her any more hurt. In the mean time, I shoot propos and train for battle, yet I never get to move out of the hospital. I still have nightmares that make me try to hurt myself for not helping Katniss more. I just can't stand the thought of hurting her. I love her.

**Thanks for reading. Review and tell me if you like the Peeta's POV! Love you. I don't own the Hunger Games!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys! I just want to thank you for all the positive feedback and your constructive criticism! I think I will do more Peeta POV's but this one is from Katniss. Don't forget to review! (I don't own the Hunger Games)**

Gale and I grow closer as the days go on. The only time we leave each other's sides is when I have training. I haven't had much improvement in my mental state. I still blame myself for Aaron's death and I swear Snow is still watching me, all the time. I am a lot better physically. I can run 5 miles easily and am in the best shape I've ever been in. Today I have yet another therapy session, but this one is an all day thing.

"Hello Katniss. Ready for our extra long session?"

"No but I'll do it anyway."

"Alrighty then, how are you feeling."

"Snow is watching me, always."

"What?"

"I don't know how to explain it. I just- I just feel like he's everywhere and I can't escape him."

"He can't touch you, not here."

"I know but I just feel, watched."

"Well doctors are watching you. Maybe that's it."

"No, I can feel his snake eyes. Just like in the Capitol."

"Well why don't we come back to that. Why don't we talk about Aaron."

"NO! I don't want to, I won't!"

"Why do you feel it was your fault he died?"

"Wow, going straight for the heart aren't you?" I'm starting to feel weird as if to hurt someone. I reach out and punch Dr. Aurelius, square in the nose. It starts bleeding immediately. I scream horrible things at him. "You heartless son of a bitch! Is it your goal to make me want to kill myself because it's working! No one hear cares about me! I'm worthless!" Everything seems so shiny, as if I have been stung by a tracker jacker. The room starts spinning and I quickly lose my breakfast. I hear someone come in. Great another sedative, it's the only way I really sleep now. Instead, someone's arms come around me. They feel so familiar, but it can't be, Aaron's dead. Shh, it's okay. You're not worthless, you're priceless. You're amazing. You have so many family and friends that love you, especially me.

"I'm a horrible person, real or not real?"

"Not real. Not even close, you're a wonderful person."

Who is this person? Why do they care so much about me? If I didn't look up I would've swore it was Aaron, the way I feel safe in his arms. The way his words get to me when no one else's does. I look up and I see the last person I would expect, Peeta Mellark. I thought I was done with him when I slapped. I would've thought I would be the last person he would want to hold. I though he was off in battle somewhere. "P-p-peeta," I ask between tears. "Shh, I'm here Katniss, whether you like it or not," he chuckles. "Did I punch Dr. Aurelius? I can't remember."

"No, you didn't. The Capitol made you."

"I felt like I had been stung by tracker jackers. That's all I can remember. What's going on? Why do you care about me? I slapped you."

"That wasn't you either."

"Yes it was. I didn't feel stung."

"No, because the real Katniss, the actual real Katniss, would remember me. Don't worry, we'll get her back."

I look in a mirror and see how horrible I look. My hair is a tangled mess, I have scars everywhere, I'm extremely thin, and I have horrible bags under my eyes. My shirt is soiled in my vomit, why is Peeta holding me? Isn't he disgusted? "Wow, I look horrible."

"No you don't. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Don't Peeta, just don't. I look bad and you know it. My hair is horrible, my skin's a mess, and I haven't slept in days."

"Do you wanna know what I see? "

"Not really."

"Too bad. I see a girl who was brave enough to save her sister from the Games, risked her life for a boy who was practically dead, and gave hope to a country in need. If that's not beauty, I don't know what is."

"Peeta, why are you so nice to me? All I've done is been mean and yet you keep coming back."

"Because I see more to you then a broken girl, I can see a girl who gave up everything for a rebellion. I know you can be put back together."

"Leave."

"What? Katniss I'm sorry for whatever I did, forgive me."

"No, I'm going to say something wrong and you'll give up on me too."

"I'll never give up on you, no matter how bad you get, but I'll leave. I'll go get a doctor."

"Where did Dr. Aurelius go?"

"He left while you were crying to fix his nose." Peeta leaves and I hear him tell Haymitch everything. Why are they so close? Haymitch doesn't socialize with anyone besides his tributes. Then, Dr. Aurelius comes in with a bandage around his nose.

"Oh Doctor, I'm so sorry for hitting you. Something came over me. As if I weren't myself. It felt like I had been stung by a tracker jacker." He seems very interested the second I say it.

"Have you ever felt like that before?"

"In the first Games when I really was stung by tracker jackers."

"Anytime else?"

"Um, in the Capitol, every day."

"Did they give you shots that would make you feel like that?"

"Yes. It makes everything, shiny."

"Katniss, by what you're telling me, it seems as if you have been hijacked."

"Hijacked?"

"Taken over. It seems as though the Capitol tried to take over your thoughts. You resisted amazingly. That's why you sometimes think no one loves you. It can also make you violent. For some reason I can't explain, it is just now starting to affect you."

"Can it be reversed?"

"I'm not sure. I've never seen it been reversed before."

"So I'm broken, forever?"

"No, if anything, thin will make it easier to repair, now that we know exactly what's wrong. I'm going to inform the other doctors and Haymitch if you don't mind." He leaves and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I know it won't get fixed. It will take over me and I will permanently be a deranged Capitol mutt. That's what I am, a mutt. Hopefully it will kill before anything gets too bad and I can be with Aaron in the afterlife. I can shake the feeling I'm being watched. I think by Snow himself. "Is this what you want Snow? For me to give up, because I am! You won! Peeta can win this war for you!" At that very moment, the TV turns on and I see Peeta.

"Hello people of Panem. It's Peeta Mellark here. I'm here in District 13 today to update you on Katniss Everdeen's condition. It turns out Katniss Everdeen was hijacked by the Capitol. While captured in the Capitol, they shot her with tracker jacker venom and caused her to think she is worthless. That no one needs her, but she's wrong. We need her. Without her, there might not have been a rebellion and you would be watching your children fight to the death. We need to fight, for her! Show her how not-worthless she is. Show here that she inspires us. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but she can't remember me. She can't remember that we love each other. I need her back and so does all of Panem. So fight! Fight for her and she'll come back and fight with us!"

The TV turns off and I can feel the hijacking coming over me. I try to hide it to get to Peeta. Peeta, who does he think he is, telling all of Panem I'm weak and need others to fight for me?

"I look to a camera that's supposed to be hidden, "I need to talk to Peeta Mellark, please, now." I'm surprised by how well I am controlling myself. Within five minutes Peeta enters my room.

"Hello Katniss. I heard you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, I do. Who in the hell do you think you are going around telling all of Panem I need someone else to fight for me? I can fight for myself whether I'm hijacked or not! You had no right saying those things. I didn't forget you, I never knew you! Stop making up such preposterous lies and tell the truth! I don't love you, I can't! I can't love you, we don't know each other well enough to love each other!" I'm screaming at him, louder than ever.

"Katniss, you're right, I had no right saying those things. I should've asked," he says very calmly. He's so understanding which just makes me angrier.

"No! Stop being nice! Why are you always nice? It makes me feel even worse because I'm yelling at someone who's nothing but nice! Be mean for god's sake!"

"Fine, you want me to yell! I'm yelling! You want to know why I'm so nice?"

"Yes, just tell me!" Everything is so shiny and I barely know who I am. I only know that Peeta Mellark has bothered me for the last time.

"Because I love you! I love you more than anything else in this world! I can't be mean to someone I love! I just want you back!"

"No! You don't love me, that's impossible! No one loves me! Everyone dies because of me!" I lunge out at him to attack but he's quicker and has me against the wall so that our eyes meet.

"No, Katniss. None of those deaths were your fault. You are very loved Katniss." His eyes are such a beautiful blue I can't take my eyes off them. I come back to my senses and try to get away but he's extremely strong. I guess carrying all those bags of flour paid off. The next thing happens so fast, the only thing I can register is a stirring in my chest. He leaned and kissed me, right on the lips. It feels so good, so familiar. It makes me feel safe and for that very moment, everything stops being shiny. The room stops spinning. After the kiss, I'm pulled back to reality and remember what Peeta did. I scratch him right across the face. He doesn't even flinch. All he does is kiss me after. I try to pull back but they feel so good, I almost don't want to. I give up and kiss him back but when I run out of breath I remember once more that he humiliated me and scream for help. Gale comes running in and pulls Peeta off me. I almost reach out for Peeta. Why can't I just push him away? Why did I have to feel something in those kisses? The next thing I see is Gale punching Peeta. The room is spinning and I pass out right after I see Haymitch pull Gale off Peeta.

When I wake up I see Gale beside my hospital bed. "Hello Catnip," he leans over and kisses me on the forehead. I try to say "Hi" but my voice is gone. I guess all that screaming was not good for my vocal chords.

"Here drink some water." Gale hands me a cold glass of water. I drink the whole thing in one drink and my voice feels ten times better.

"Thanks," I croak out, "Is Peeta okay? I really overreacted. He was just trying to help."

"He's fine. Don't blame yourself, it wasn't you. I hurt him more anyway."

"On the outside, I know I did more damage on the inside. You should've seen how hurt he looked."

"I did. I was watching with Haymitch and doctors."

"Where is Peeta? Is Haymitch angry with me?"

No, Haymitch understands. You've been hijacked. Peeta is in District 2. They're trying to convince 2 to come over to the Rebel's side. I think it's working. I have to go out there today, I was just waiting for you to wake so I could tell you goodbye. I love you." He leans in and we kiss for a while. I feel bad for thinking it, but these kisses don't feel near as good as Peeta's. It was probably because I was hijacked and couldn't control myself. Still, when he kissed me, everything felt normal, no more than that, magical. I kiss back though so he doesn't suspect my thoughts. "Be safe."

"I will Catnip. Take care of yourself." He leaves and I feel guilty for only thinking of Peeta.

Weeks go by and no word from 2. I keep myself busy, hanging out with Annie while Finnick trains some more, like he really needs to. He's the most athletic person I know. Johanna and I study military terms together although I doubt they will ever let me fight in this condition. I help Prim study for her doctor's degree by quizzing her from her book. I don't talk to Haymitch much but I know he watches my sessions with Aurelius. I don't improve much. I have attacks about once or twice a day. Afterwards I drift into a restless sleep for what feels like days but turn out to be about a half hour. That's the only time I sleep.

About two and a half weeks after Peeta had left, Haymitch comes in. "Katniss I need to tell you something. You probably won't care but I still think I ought to tell you. Peeta has been shot. He's alive, he was wearing a bulletproof vest, but he broke a couple ribs. He's here but he's unconscious at the moment."

I run to find him in a different part of the hospital. He looks so helpless just lying there. He's shirtless with white gauze covering his rib cage. I sit in the chair next to his bed and take his hand in both of my. His hands that could frost a cake so well. Hands that threw me burnt bread and helped me when no one else would. I just sit there watching him and wondering, is it possible that I might love him too?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: You guys are so sweet! I've had soo much positive feedback! Don't forget to review! I'm not sure when I'll post again because I get VERY sidetracked by the Olympics. Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.**

I'm not sure how long I'm asleep when he wakes up. I hear him stirring and instantly wake up. I'm still holding his hand; I haven't let go of it for two days. He sits up and groans out of pain, "Katniss, is that you?"

"Yes Peeta, it's me."

"Are we dead?"

"No silly, we're alive here in District 13."

"What happened? Last thing I remember, they blew up the Nut."

"Yes, 2 is on the Rebel's side now. You got shot." He looks down at the bandages.

"Oh yeah, I remember that now."

"Well not actually shot, the bullet didn't touch you. It bounced off your bulletproof vest. You have a couple of very bruised ribs and the bullet ruptured your spleen. The doctors had to remove it but they tell me you don't even need it, so you'll make a full recovery."

"Great. Why are you here?"

"Because, you would've been here for me if I got shot."

"But before I left you tried to hurt me."

"I tried to kill you. That wasn't me. That was crazy pyscho, mutt Katniss, made by the Capitol. I'm sorry for that by the way."

"I know it wasn't you. How's your-," he's trying to choose his words carefully so I don't turn mutt again," mental state."

"Same, I haven't been to therapy for two days; I've been here with you."

"So, you remember Aaron."

"I never stop thinking about him. He's always in the back of my mind. I really miss him. You remind me a lot of him. The way you talk and act. The way I feel safe in your arms." Am I really going to say this next thing? This is so not like me to say but I do anyway because he's been shot for god's sake. "The way you love me."

He leans in and kisses me. Damn he's a good kisser. I pull away though. "I'm sorry Peeta, I can't. It's not fair to Aaron."

"God Katniss, that wasn't Aaron in the Games with you, it was me! There's a reason I remind you of Aaron. All those things he said in the Games, that was me! I'm the one who you risked your life for. I gave you the pearl! I'm the one who told you 'Always' not Aaron! Just remember!"

"How dare you! It's hard enough to get over him but for you to say those things! I was here for you!"

"You tried to kill me!" Before I can hurt him, Gale pulls me away.

"Catnip, what was going on in there?"

"He said Aaron wasn't real! He said it was him along. Why can't I just forget Aaron?" I'm crying now.

I have no idea how much pain this caused Gale to say, but he tells me the truth. "Because you love him more than anyone else."

"No, I love you. I chose you."

"Then how do you explain that kiss in there and in your room a couple weeks ago? You've never kissed me like that."

"Yes I have. We've made out before."

"You've never kissed me with that kind of passion that you just did in that one kiss. You love Aaron and you like that Peeta is like him." I see a tear roll down his cheek and I wipe it away. I kiss him as hard as I can.

"See, no passion, Catnip. Not like when you kiss him. You kiss me because you want to love me, you just can't forget him and I get that." He lets go of me and start to walk away.

"Gale, no. I do love you. Who else will love me back?"

"Just go to your hospital room in five minutes. Remember, I'm your best friend, I know you better than you know yourself, and if you really do love me, I'll be able to tell."

I go back in five minutes like Gale told me to and I find Dr. Aurelius standing next to a sitting Haymitch and an empty chair facing a TV.

"What's going on?"

"You and Haymitch are going to watch the 73rd Hunger Games."

"Please don't make me. I hate watching the Games."

"It's part of your therapy, thought of by Gale and Haymitch. It will help, I promise."

I sit down next to Haymitch and Aurelius leaves. Haymitch turns on the TV and hold his hand out. This is going to be tougher for him to watch; he knew and mentored these kids. It all starts with the reaping. Typical Careers volunteer. It's a girl from the Seam, Trisha, I think. She was in my year at school. The boy tribute surprises me, it's Aaron, Aaron Wilson. "How is this possible?"

"Just watch," says Haymitch.

I watch like he tells me to. Nothing really stands out except that Aaron in it. Trisha dies in the first five minutes. Aaron can't find a source of water and dies of dehydration like I almost did. His death is too much and I black out.

When I wake up I'm haunted by the images of Aaron's death. This is not how Aaron died. He was killed by Brutus in the Quarter Quell. Dr. Aurelius comes in and tells me that it's best if we don't finish the Games. I don't say anything. "Katniss? Tell me how you feel." I've lost my ability to talk. Usually I just would've thought the tapes were lying but it seems so familiar. Like I've seen those Games before. I definitely remember Trisha dying. If this is true, Aaron was not my district partner, who was?

**Sorry it's short but it's midnight and I'm tired and Forrest Gump is on! More to come! Some more Katniss/Peeta interaction coming up. And Finnick and Annie's wedding, so get ready!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys! Remember me? I'm so sorry it took this long to update but the olympics were on and then I started high school. Also I had been having a ton of writer's block. But I'm back. I'm going to try to update at least once a week, most likely on Saturdays. I really miss you guys, so make sure to review! Love you! Also follow my Hunger Games instagram account, all pictures of Hunger Games and the cast: peeta_withdrawls it'll mean a lot!Disclaimer: I do not own the hunger games**.

I don't talk for days. I just sit in my hospital room, staring at a wall. Everyone I know comes in at some point, my mother, Prim, Haymitch, Beetee, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, and many people from 12 but I never talk not even when Gale visits, which is everyday. Peeta came in once but it set me off and Dr. Aurelius won't let him come back. I just can't stop wondering about Aaron and if he wasn't my district partner, who was? Although Peeta isn't allowed to come in, he sits in the chair outside my room, all day and even falls asleep there most of the time. The only time he leaves is when he has to do a propo for the Rebellion. I miss him. Even though I turn mutt every time I see him, the old me wants him to hold me and tell me everything's okay, just like Aaron used to. Well, who ever I thought was Aaron. For all I know I made all that up in my head, but I know I didn't. Maybe Peeta as right, it was him. I shake my head. Of course it's not him, I think after all that's gone down between us in 13, I would've remembered that by now.

I finally return to the real world when I hear the happiest news anyone's heard since the Quell, Finnick and Annie are getting married. The wedding's scheduled for next. Saturday, only a week from today. They asked if Annie could borrow one of my dresses, so I of course said yes. The wedding will be televised to show that a war can't stop something happy from happening. This really seems to lift people's spirits, even mine. People are signing up to help, but of course they won't let me.

Dr. Aurelius lets me take a break from therapy until after the wedding. In my free time, I stare at walls and hang out with Johanna. It's weird how being in such a horrible place with someone will make you so close. I feel like I can read her thoughts. I never thought that in a million years I would say Johanna Mason is my friend. My favorite part of the day is hunting with Gale, although I haven't spoken to him since our little, actually huge, fight two days ago. We had already finished cleaning our game and he brought me into a hug and kissed me. "Gale don't.""Don't what?""I can't handle a relationship now, I don't know how i feel about you or Aaron.""I thought you watched the Games.""I did.""Well then you should know that you don't love Aaron.""My memories may not be with Aaron but they're real. Whoever it is, I don't know how I feel about him."He steps away from me."Katniss I'm done with this.""Gale no, I need you."

"Katniss you don't need anyone. Besides I'm tired of you saying that you need me and then making out with Mellark. If you really need me, then why do you keep going back to him. It hurts, you know. I have feelings too so, if you care for me at all, you'll let me go so I don't get hurt any more."

"Gale no. Please you're my best friend."

"And you're mine, but I think we need to just take a break from each other. At least until after the war."

"That could be years."

"Not with you on our side, Catnip. I give it a month or so."

"Gale, stop."

"Katniss, I said no," he says with more anger than usual, so I let him. He walked away and I haven't spoken to him since.

Eventually, the big day comes around and everyone is excited. Most of the citizens are just happy for a reason to celebrate since they don't celebrate anything in 13. And I mean nothing, no birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, nothing. For me, it's different. I'm excited for this day because I have never been happier for someone in my entire life. No one could hide their love, not even Snow.

The wedding festivities all start out with my prep team making Annie look beautiful while me and Johanna entertain her. Then we help her get into her dress and help her get over nerves. Then , Johanna and I get remade my the prep team, since we're bridesmaids. Finally, we're lined up to walk down the aisle and down we go. I'm Annie's maid of honor, so I walk down with the best man, who happens to be Peeta, but instead of being mad or nervous about it, I'm glad. I actually kind if miss him. He always makes me less nervous with his steadiness, just like Aaron, and I need all the steadiness I can get on these heels.

The wedding ends and we go to take pictures. After the pictures are done, we go to the cafeteria for the reception. Everything looks beautiful with a District 4 theme, but the most beautiful thing there, besides Annie, was the cake. It had a gorgeous ocean theme and looked similar to those that were displayed at the bakery. There is no doubt in my mind that the cake was made by Peeta. Only his hands could create something so beautiful.

My favorite part of the wedding is the dancing. Us District 12 folk really know how to dance. Prim and I make excellent dance partners and the night is just a blast. I haven't had this much fun since before the Games.  
Before we know it, it's time for the last dance. The person in charge of music says every girl find a partner to dance with. Everyone is finding someone. I can't go to Gale, we're supposed to be "taking a break". I'm not sure who to pick, so I go to the only person I know will say yes, Peeta.

"Wanna dance?"He looks surprised, "Of course I would Katniss.

"The song is pretty slow, so I put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand.

"I didn't think you'd ask me. I though you would've asked Gale or something."

"Gale and I aren't speaking right now." He can tell I don't want to talk about it, so he doesn't ask."Well I'm really glad you asked. I missed you."

He pulls me in close and I put my arms around his neck and whisper, "I'm glad I did too.

"We don't really talk, we just try to be as close to one another as possible And before I know it, we lean in at the same time and kiss. The moment is just so magical, I never want it to stop, so we kiss again, and again. We're pretty much making out by the time the reception's over and then we break away.

"Wow," is all I can say.

"Yeah, wow is right."

"That was...""Wow. I missed you Katniss."

"I don't wanna leave you. Let's go back to your place and just talk."

"That would be great."

We walk to his compartment in silence. When we get there he opens the door and invites me in. I take a seat on one of the chairs and he gets me something to drink. He breaks the silence, "So, how have you been?"

"I've been better, but I've been a lot worse. What about you?"

"Same. I think about you a lot."

"Look Peeta, I'm still not sure what has happened between us. I've been taking a break from all that. I'll probably start again next week, whatever Dr. Aurelius wants. Just know that I don't hate you, or love you."

He kisses me before I have time to think so I just kiss him back. Before I know it, we're lying down on the bed and his shirt is off. He starts to ale my dress of and everything just seems so right. I think I was wrong before, I think I do love him.

"Katniss we need to stop. I don't want to do anything you and I will regret."

"No don't stop, I want you."

"You have no idea how much I want you too, but we can't. Not until you're fully back and your flashbacks stop."

"I haven't had a flashback in weeks."

"We haven't talked in weeks. You'll come back to me, then we can think about this."

"Do I have to leave. Let's just sleep. You make me feel safe."

"Of course. Come on, let's sleep."He gives me one of his tshirts and lie down on the bed. He pulls me into him and I feel so comfortable and familiar.

"We've slept like this before. Real or not real?"He answers what I expected, "Real."  
Thanks for reading. Review and follow my instagram!


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back! Thank you so much to everyone who followed and reviewed! I love feedback! Don't forget to follow my instagram: peeta_withdrawls. Love you!  
Peeta's POV:

The man in charge of the music announces that this will be the last dance and for every girl to ask a guy to dance. I expect Delly to ask me since we're best friends, but I wish Katniss was here to ask me. Of course she is here, but I wish the real Katniss was here to ask and we would dance just like on the victory tour. All of sudden, she is there, right in front of me asking me to dance. Of course I accept and we stand very formally, not at all like the Victory Tour where we pressed as close to each other as we could be, but with my hand on her waist and the other holding her hand, even then I can't complain. I'm the first to speak.

"I didn't think you'd ask me. I though you would've asked Gale or something."

"Gale and I aren't speaking right now." I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it .

"Well I'm really glad you asked. I missed you."

She is acting like her old self. The girl I'm so madly in love with I would die for her in a second, so I take advantage of her being so normal and pull her in close and put my hands on her hips. She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers into my ear, "I'm glad I did too."

Everything is going so well and we both just lean in and kiss, and again, and again. It just feels so much like the real her. We're making out by the end of the song.

"Wow," is all I can say.  
"Yeah, wow is right."  
"That was..."  
"Wow. I missed you Katniss."  
"I don't wanna leave you. Let's go back to your place and just talk."  
"That would be great."

We get back to my place. I ask her how she is but we get bored with that and next thing I know we're on my bed and my shirt is off. I can't control myself and start to unzip her dress, but stop myself. I don't want to go any farther until I know it's really her and she remembers everything.

"Katniss we need to stop. I don't want to do anything you and I will regret."  
"No don't stop, I want you."  
"You have no idea how much I want you too, but we can't. Not until you're fully back and your flashbacks stop."  
"I haven't had a flashback in weeks."  
"We haven't talked in weeks. You'll come back to me, then we can think about this."  
"Do I have to leave. Let's just sleep. You make me feel safe."  
"Of course. Come on, let's sleep."I gives her one of my tshirts and we lie down on the bed. I pull her close to me and we relax.  
"We've slept like this before real or not real." She really does remember something, maybe she will come back to me.  
"Real."

Katniss POV

"What's going on here?"

Oh geez how am I going to explain me sleeping in Peeta's bed to Haymitch.

"Hey Haymitch. Katniss spent the night last night, but NOTHING happen."

"I just came over after the wedding and we hung out."

"So does this mean you two are... together?"

No, definitely not. I'm still too confused. Maybe after I get the whole Aaron thing figured out, but until then, we're just acquaintances."

"Yeah, I have to focus on the war."

"Alright, I believe you guys but Katniss, you're mother is worried sick."

"Crap, I have to leave. Bye Peeta, I had fun, see you later." I run to my compartment as fast as I can.

"Mother, I'm fine. I spent the night at a friend's last night." I think it's a good idea to leave out saying that friend was Peeta. I'm still only 17 and my mother doesn't even like the idea of me having a boyfriend, not that I have one now.

"What are you wearing?"

Shit, I forgot I still have Peeta's shirt on and nothing else besides underwear. Yeah the shirt goes down to my thighs, but still.

"Well you didn't expect me to sleep in my dress, did you?"

"I expected you to come home last night. Even if you did survive two Hnger Games, you're not 17 and should let me know where you are. I worry about you, even though I know you couldn't have gone anywhere."  
This rubs me the wrong way so I decide to be a smart ass, "Yeah well you didn't worry about me going into the woods and having to feed the family for five years."

"Katniss, that's enough. I know you weren't at Johanna's. I'm assuming you were at Peeta's and I just don't want you to be stupid and do something you'll regret."

"Mother, I'm not going to get pregnant!"

"You never know. Are you still a virgin." Oh God, this is not happening.

"Of course! You think I'm a slut! I'm leaving"

"Put some clothes on!"

I ignore her and go to find Johanna. I need to vent. I go to her hospital room, but she's not there, she never showed up last night. Hm, that's interesting. I decide to go to the cafeteria and get some food. When I get there I see Johanna.

"So where have you been missy," I ask her.

" Spent the night in some stranger's room. I think his name was Jason, I don't know I was pretty drunk."

"Oh, a guy. Did he get lucky?" We giggle like school girls at the question.

"Hun, I honestly have no idea, but he was cute so I'll say yes. What about you? At the look of your clothes, I'll say someone else had a little too much fun."

"Ugh, you're like the third person to ask me that, no I did not sleep with someone last night. Well I did, but not in that way. I just slept, really."

"I know you wouldn't sleep with a guy after one night, Katniss, you're only 17. Chill out."

"Sorry, my mother and I just got in a big fight about that."

"Katniss, I know you get really mad at your mom sometimes, but take from someone who knows, you would miss her if she was gone. My mom and I fought all the time, but there isn't a day I don't miss her. You only get one mom, no matter what, don't take it for granted for granted. You of all people should understand, you've already lost a parent."

"I know but sometimes she just makes me so mad."

"She just cares about you."

I start to feel bad. "Ugh, I have to go apologize."  
"Have fun."

I walk back to the compartment to find my mom reading a book. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Katniss. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't think that you're sleeping around, it's just that I feel like I'm a bad parent. I left everything up to you and I just want to make sure you turn out alright."

"I know it wasn't your fault you tuned out. Besides, I've been in two HungerGames, it will not be your fault if I don't turn out alright."

She chuckles, "I guess I'm just trying to make up for lost time. She holds out her arms and I hesitate for a moment but then walk into her arms. haven't really hugged my mom for no reason since I was little. Last time I hugged her was when we found out I was going back into the arena. I feel like a little kid again in her arms, it's nice. Then Prim walks in and joins in the hug too. If it wasn't for Prim, I doubt my mother and I would even talk.

A knock at the door breaks our hug and I go to answer it. "Soldier Everdeen, you have an appointment with Dr. Aurelius, come with me.

"Let me get dressed." I go and put on the gray shirt and pants that everyone wears. The soldier leads me down to the room that I watched the 73rd Games in.

"Good morning, Ms. Everdeen. How have you been?"

"Confused. Although I had a lot of fun at the wedding last night. It was a nice break.".

"I agree. I heard you and Mr. Mellark got awful close at the dance."  
"Yes, there is just something about him that makes me less confused. It's nice, but there's nothing going on."  
"Have you had any flashbacks lately?"  
"Not since that one time Peeta came to visit me when I was in shock."  
"That's good."  
"Although, I've only seen him once since then, so who knows if he could still set me off."  
"That's what I would like to test out. See if you still have venom in your system, which is what is causing you to have flashbacks, although we don't think it will ever completely escape, we believe it can be very low and only cause flashbacks once in a blue moon."  
"So how are we going to test it?"  
"We just want to observe how you and Peeta interact." Then Peeta walks in and Aurelius leaves.  
"Hey Katniss." He reaches out and touches my hand, but I feel like he was going to hurt me. I flinch really noticeably.  
"Are you alright?"  
"Please don't hurt me."  
"I won't hurt you."  
"Yes you will, your mad that I killed Aaron."  
"What? How did you get that from that. This has absolutely nothing to do with Aaron. Remember, he was in the 73rd Games, not your Games."  
"You're just telling me that because your jealous of me and him. I loved him!"  
"No Katniss." He reaches out to touch me but I pull away and scream, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Then a needle goes into my arm but I turn to him before I back out and see a single tear roll down his cheek


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello beautiful readers! I'm sorry I haven't posted in a couple weeks but who would've though high school would be so hectic? Well I'm back and I'll try to post sometime in this week coming up! Just a recap from last chapter: Katniss and Peeta got super close during Finnick and Annie's wedding but Peeta stopped it before things got too serious. Katniss has just restarted therapy since her breakdown of finding out Aaron was not her district partner in either Games. In her latest session, she goes "mutt" and tries to attack Peeta. Read and review! Love you!**

I wake up in a hospital bed. The last thing I remember was trying to hurt Peeta. Oh God, how could I hurt him? He's always so nice. I just want to stop having flashbacks. Why can't I just be normal? My flashbacks revolving around everyone else besides Peeta have completely stopped. I haven't had one in weeks. I try to sit up but something is keeping me from doing it. I look down to see my waist, ankles, and arms strapped down. Great, now they don't even trust me to sit up by myself. I'm about to yell for someone to unstrap me when I hear Dr. Aurelius and Peeta's voices outside my door.

"What triggered her attack? We had just spent a whole night together?"

"We believe someone had put alcohol in the punch at the wedding."

"Well I though everyone knew that."

"We found out after half of the attendees were completely drunk."

"What does this have to do with Katniss."

"Alcohol subdues the tracker jacked venom so that it doesn't affect her when intoxicated."

"So she didn't try to kill me because she was drunk?" I can hear the hurt in Peeta's voice not only because yet again, our only interaction was fake, but because he knows if they can't figure out how to get rid of the hijacking, I will most likely become a drunk, like Haymitch.

"Peeta, we'll figure out how to bring her back to you or die trying."

"Thanks, Doc." I hear his extremely loud footsteps go down the hall. He would be horrible to take hunting, he would scare away every animal within a five mile radius.

Dr. Aurelius enters my room and asks me how I'm doing.

"Well, seeing as how I'm completely strapped down, I'm guessing not well."

"We only did this to ensure you not harm anyone else, Ms. Everdeen. It's for everyone's safety. How are you feeling now.""Confused.""Please explain."

"I could hear you and Peeta talking. I wish he would just not care about me. It would make me feel a lot less worse about continually trying to kill him."

Dr. Aurelius chuckles, "Yes, that might have been better for all of us but Peeta never gives up on something he's passionate for."

"You sound fairly normal, Katniss. I think today is the day."

"The day for what?"

"The day you watch the 74th Hunger Games."

"Please Doctor. I don't want to relive those horrible weeks."

"Don't worry, we're going to take it slow. Today you will only be watching the opening ceremonies and the interviews, if you are up to it. Is there anyone you want in here? Maybe Johanna or Finnick? "I know the only person I could watch this with is the person who I wouldn't have survived it without, Haymitch. No matter how much we fight, he's like a father to me and I need him. "Haymitch, only Haymitch."

"Alright, I'll go find him."

A few minutes later, Haymitch comes in. "Hey Sweetheart, you ready for this."

"I don't think I'll ever be. What about you?"

"Same, but I'm here for you."

We sit down in chairs facing the television. I take Haymitch's hand knowing we'll suffer through this together. I haven't felt safe with anyone since my father and who I though was Aaron. It's nice for a change.

It all starts out with the reapings. I remember all of the tributes like it was yesterday and learn some of their names. I close my eyes when it gets to Rue. I can't bear to see the faces of her younger siblings seeing their sister walking to her death. When it gets to twelve the memories hit me like a train. Prim is called, I volunteer, and Gale carries her away while she's screaming. Then, as Effie Trinket walks to the bowl full of boys' names I remember! At the exact same time as Effie, I scream, "PEETA MELLARK!"

"What did you say? Do you remember?" I hear the slight tone of excitement in Haymitch's voice, but all I can say is, "Peeta Mellark."

Next, I say his name with more anger than excitement. "Peeta Mellark."

"Whoa that took a nasty turn. Katniss are you okay?"

"He tried to kill me! Don't you remember? He teamed up with the Careers! Don't you remember?"

"Katniss, just watch, remember how that was just to save you?"

"No he got me to trust him, and then tried to kill me!""Then why did you bring him back from the dead?"

"For the Games! Everything was for the Games. I did care about him though. That's what he wanted me to do! He wanted to kill me. Little does he know, the Games are never over, not really. I could still 'win'."

And with that I take the rope I tie knots with and run to the place I know Peeta will be, the scenic room. It's a fairly large room above ground where all the walls are windows and people get to go one day a week and watch the birds and just look outside for once. But, if you're a victor you get to go up there as much as you want unless you are needed, but today I remember hearing Peeta saying he needed to think, and he always goes there to think, or paint.  
I run as fast as I can to the room and scream, "YOU LIAR!"

"Katni-" I put the rope around his neck and start choking him. I seem to be stronger than usual. Also, everything seems shiny, like the Capitol.

He's on the verge of passing out when all of my strength seems to have completely disappeared. I collapse to the ground, head in my hands. Everything stops being shiny and I'm scared. I just almost killed someone. Now he's going to hurt me and I will die, just like I should've in the Games. He sits for a minute or so, gasping for breath.

Eventually, he approaches me and I flinch for the strike that is sure to come, but instead he moves hair from my face. "Please don't touch me, or hurt me."

"I would never hurt you Katniss, I'm not my mother." I must of really cut off his air pipe because he can barely talk. He starts to bring me in his arms when I all of my energy from before come back.

"I said don't touch me!" I punch him square in the nose and blood is every where.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. Just remember who you are. You're 17 years old. You love your sister more than anyone else. You have an amazing voice; even the birds stop to listen. You love lamb stew from the Capitol. You hate-" He's cut off by soldiers and a few doctors that come rushing in. They take in the scene. Bood everywhere, especially on Peeta. They come to give me a shot. I hate shots, that's how the Capitol tortured me. Peeta must see the fear in my eyes because he screams, " Please no, she hates shots! Don't put her through that!" He'sjust trying to get you to trust him so he can kill you. They ignore him any way and give me the shot. The only thing I hear is Peeta whisper to me, "I'm sorry."

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I know it's pretty short, sorry but it's late. I'll update soon! Maybe Monday? Don't forget to review and follow me on instagram: peeta_withdrawls if you like to co own the account with me, PM me or Kik me at peetawithdrawls Let me know! Love you!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello Guys! I'm soooo sorry it took so long to update. Please forgive me! Life's just been crazy but I'm back now! Just a little review of what happened last time: Katniss watched the pre-game events and her memories of Peeta came back, but in a horrible way. She thinks he tried to kill her in the Games and now wants to kill him. Review please!**  
_I am running through the arena. Suddenly something grabs onto my ankle. I fall and see that what pulled me was Rue's dead, cold hands. It happens again, and again by every other tribute until I reach Peeta. He's holding his arms out and I run to the, as fast as possible. He hugs me and I hug back as tight as possible. Suddenly, he's squeezing me to the point of pain._

_"Peeta, you're hurting me."_

_"Katniss?"I start struggling. I feel like I'm being smothered but I don't know what from."Katniss, wake up. You're just dreaming._

Wake up, I'm here. You're okay."  
I wake up and see the worry in his eyes. "Oh Peeta! I've missed you!" I jump into his arms and hug him as if he will be taken away any moment, which he probably will.

"So you really do remember us?"

"Of course. They showed me the Games"

"Yeah but remember what happened afterwards?"

"Not really. I though I just fell asleep."

"Oh. I missed you Katniss." I kiss his lips so softly I doubt he felt it, but he must've because he kisses me again with more passion than ever. After a few moments of kissing I can't remember anything.

"Peeta! Get off of me!" I push him away. "What the hell! This is just one of your traps to lure me in and kill me! Who let you in? Why were you kissing me?"

"Katniss, you kissed me first. I would never hurt you!"

"Someone help! He's trying to hurt me!" Doctors and security guards rush in. The doctors come over to me while the security guards are dragging Peeta out."No, she needs me! I would never hurt her! I love her!"I hear one of the guards say, "We know' Soldier Mellark, but we need to make her feel safe."

Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Which I am, but I don't appreciate everyone telling me. It's like I'm the only one trying to help me recover from this. Dr. Aurelius comes in, "It's alright Katniss. Why don't you eat your breakfast and I'll come to talk to you in a while."He leaves the room and I dig into my breakfast.

Peeta's POV  
The guards let me go the minute the door closes. One of them says to wait for Dr. Aurelius, so I just stand there trying to figure out what I did wrong.

A few minutes later, Dr. Aurelius comes out and gets right to the point. "Peeta, I'm not sure what's wrong with Katniss."

"What do you mean? Isn't there something you can do?

""We thought we could, but she seems to be getting worse."

"I can't live without her. I need her."

"With believe that the Capitol's original intention was for her to react this way. She resisted it in the Capitol so they took a different approach and made her forget you were in the Games with her. Well, now I'm afraid she thinks you're going to hurt her, but it will come in spurts. Sometimes, it may be just like it was before the Quell. Others she might be completely terrified you will hurt her, and try to protect herself by trying to kill you. We believe for her benefit and the rebellion, you should stay completely away from her. We will try our hardest but like we said before, we know very little about hijacking. I'm sorry Peeta."

"There has to be a way."

"We will try. Who's someone who she's always happy with?"

"Her sister, Prim," the selfish part of me wants to stop there but I have to tell them everything if I ever want her back. Even if she doesn't love me, I just want her to be happy and remember the happy moments we had together, "and her best friend, Gale. After her father's death, he was the only person that could really make her happy."

"Yes, but what about someone who won't remind her of you at all. When she thinks of Gale it could lead to her thinking about the two men who love her most, you and Gale. Maybe someone from school?"

"There was a Seam girl who Katniss seemed to think fond of. I'm pretty sure her name was Leevy. I've seem her around 13. She could help."All of a sudden, my communicuff starts beeping and says I'm to report to Command immediately. Probably just another Propo to film."Just do what you have to do to bring her back, Doc."

"I won't stop 'till it's done. You better go, Peeta. Coin doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I head down to Command and see Finnick, Boggs, Gale, and some soldiers I don't know sitting at a table with Coin at the head of it."Take a seat, Soldier Mellark." Her voice is so sharp, it makes you jump when she speaks. I quickly take the seat next to Finnick and listen.

Coin begins to speak, "You have all been called here for you're shooting skills and popularity." I'm pretty sure she had to add the popularity part for me. I'm not the best shot, especially compared to the others.

"You will all be heading to the Capitol tomorrow. You won't be in much action; you'll be more of a star squad. We'll send the cameras and show that even our stars are fighting in battle, even though it won't be any actual danger.

This seems to rub Gale the wrong way. "Why won't we be in any battle? We're the best shooters you got!"

"Not all of you, and that's beside the point. We have some very recognizable faces and we can't afford to lose them."

"No, you just know that Peeta couldn't hit a target that was five feet in front of him! How about you send the rest of us into real battle and leave him here to mope over Katniss trying to kill him!"

"That's enough Soldier Hawthorne. If you don't like it, you can stay here all together. You're choice. We need Peeta there. He's the symbol of our rebellion."

"Only because Katniss was tortured in the Capitol! Everyone knows she's the real symbol. So what if Mellark can speak in front of a camera, anyone can do that!"

Boggs speaks up. "Hawthorne, you don't get it do you? Without Peeta, we might still be trying to get half of the Districts on our side. His speaking skills are a gift. You may be able to shoot the dust off of someone's head from a mile away, but his words are a greater weapon than an arrow will ever be." I'm surprised by Boggs. I think he feels bad for me. In his eyes, I'm just some 17 year old boy who's constantly in and out of a hospital and is known for being mentally disoriented. I just barely passed training and the love of my life hates me. Maybe I should just stay here, I'm just endangering them.

"Thanks Boggs, but maybe Gale is right. I've been in out of the hospital since the Quell, and I'm not sure I can handle everything-"

This time it's Finnick who steps in. "Peeta, we need you. You can handle it. You've survived two arenas. We're Victors, we're meant to beat the odds. You'll beat the odds out in the field while Katniss is beating them here and getting better." For some reason, this really gets to me."Alright, I'll go, but I warn you, I have an extremely loud walk."

Katniss POV

I'm dreaming about my father's death. I'm screaming at him not to go down there but nothing comes out of my mouth, only silence. He completely ignores me and gets blown to bits. I run to the carnage of what's left and see Peeta there. I feel something different. Unlike today, I'm glad to see him. I run to him, but there seems to be a wall between us, like in the Quarter Quell. I'm trying to talk to him but he can't hear me, nor can I hear him. Eventually, we give up. He puts his hands up to the glass and I put mine to his. We lean our heads against the wall as if they're leaning against each other. I'm crying uncontrollably when I hear him. I look up only to see him gone. I can still hear him talking.

"Katniss, I know you can't hear me because you're asleep, and I know I'm not supposed to be near you until you're better but I had to. They're sending me to the Capitol tomorrow. There's no real danger, it's mostly for show, but what isn't any more. Our entire lives since the Games have been a show. I wish I could just talk to the real you. I wish I could know if we were real. I really think we were, but I don't know if they can bring you back to me. I'm going to go the Capitol and win this thing, for us. We're going to get Snow and watch him die. I'm sure you want to do the honor of killing him, but I would rather just watch. If we kill him, we're no better than he was. God Katniss, I just want to hold you again, rather than just your hand while you're asleep. I've always liked the way you looked asleep-"

Suddenly, I realize this isn't a dream and Peeta is in my room talking to me. I dart up and startle him. "Peeta?"

"Oh God, sorry Katniss, I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"I know, Peeta."

"Really? This must be one of those spurts they were talking about."

"What spurts?"

"Katniss, the tracker jacket venom in the Capitol didn't affect you all the way so sometimes you will be completely normal one second, and trying to kill me the next."

"How long do we have until I, you know."

"I'm not sure. Let's just enjoy what time we do have together."

I lean in and kiss him passionately. He kisses back with even more passion, knowing any second could be our last before I want to kill him. Who knows if he will even make it out of the war. I just decide to cherish every second. Before I know it he's in my bed with me and we're just kissing. Nothing more, he doesn't want to push it and that's a good thing. Too much could set me off. After a few minutes, I know we need to talk.

"Peeta, before I change, I need you to know that I miss you. And in the Capitol, I though about you all the time. And most of all, I'm so sorry for all I'm putting you through. You don't deserve it-"

He stops me with a kiss, "Katniss, I love you. I don't think of it as just going through it if it's going to bring us back together. But just know, if you want to be with Gale, I understand. I just want you to get better, and to be happy. You deserve it."

"Maybe I do, but I don't deserve you."We kiss one more time before I drift to sleep in his arms.

**Did you guys like it? Again I'm soooo sorry this took so long! I'm not sure when my next update will be because the Cardinals are super close to the World Series, so my evening usually consist of watching them. Review! Love you all!**


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